Not very inspirational, but ought to be in the textbooks

There's two ways a job can go:

A) The job will slowly break you. Management will reveal themselves to be a force of dread malice, doing everything possible to extinguish all hope and joy from your life. The clients will pummel you relentlessly with the verbal equivalent a tire iron against your very soul. Every time you wake, you will look at the day stretched before you, and you will shudder. You will experience levels of rage that could actually be considered an aerobics program, and will somehow do so while simultaneously experiencing levels of boredom that would drive your average garden slug to leap into a salt cellar. You will go from being an intelligent and patient person, to a gibbering man-ape, longing for the days of the thrown turd as the primary method of long-distance communication.

Or B) Which is the same as A), but replace the word "slowly" with "suddenly."