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Dog's and Cat's Diary
Mar. 27th, 2005 06:09 pmEXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a.m.Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p.m.Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p.m.Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p.m.Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the
hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the
occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I
once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try
this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless
body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to
try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended
about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to
plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could
hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that
my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what
this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other
captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely
released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a
half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the high metal room, his
safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time ....
8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a.m.Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p.m.Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p.m.Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p.m.Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the
hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the
occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I
once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try
this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless
body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to
try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended
about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to
plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could
hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that
my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what
this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other
captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely
released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a
half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an
informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the high metal room, his
safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time ....
