xlorp: (Hello Cthuluh)
"Can you know the mighty ocean? Can you lasso a star from the sky? Can you say to a rainbow... 'Hey, stop being a rainbow for a second'? No! Such is Mango!"
xlorp: (PDB Supper)
Biblical inerrancy and literalism are a tough sell but still form the basis of Christian Fundamentalism. I personally regard those concepts as fatally flawed when projected outward into general society. Metaphysical standards used to justify punishment and regulation supported by the bare word of "It must be so" will tend to violent suppression, undermining any concept of Human Dignity or Social Contract.

America was founded by Deists with ample object lessons in theocratic horrors. Please do not assert that America has a mandate to proselytize a religious belief system of any stripe.

If you have personal beliefs and traditions which you hold dear, then be the ambassador, the role model. In other words, be admirable, imitable and consistent if you wish to be admired and imitated.

Be strident, callous and oppressive if you wish to fail.

I can't fault anyone's personal beliefs in their own right. I do fault the energy directed into actions ranging from the seemingly trivial to utterly unconscionable.
xlorp: (Wacky Joker)
You Are Now Breathing Manually
xlorp: (Default)
The recent Wells Fargo ruling
Some comments from a man in the thick of other systemic nastiness at the time
Recently reading a very good introduction to how western capitalism dropped the ball

There's a mindset at work that deserves eradication
"When you cease to be of any monetary value to anyone, you are utterly worthless."
From this depersonification comes much that is evil.

It would be easy to follow with something pithy about being mad as hell and not going to take it any more. I will not. Outrage is easy. Actions taken and words spoken while outraged are oft poorly aimed and win no allies.

My way of coping is to be kind, deliberate and helpful within my means.
xlorp: (Wacky Joker)
There's two ways a job can go:

A) The job will slowly break you. Management will reveal themselves to be a force of dread malice, doing everything possible to extinguish all hope and joy from your life. The clients will pummel you relentlessly with the verbal equivalent a tire iron against your very soul. Every time you wake, you will look at the day stretched before you, and you will shudder. You will experience levels of rage that could actually be considered an aerobics program, and will somehow do so while simultaneously experiencing levels of boredom that would drive your average garden slug to leap into a salt cellar. You will go from being an intelligent and patient person, to a gibbering man-ape, longing for the days of the thrown turd as the primary method of long-distance communication.

Or B) Which is the same as A), but replace the word "slowly" with "suddenly."
xlorp: (Default)
”To be truly radical is to make hope possible, not despair convincing.” Raymond Williams
xlorp: (Wacky Joker)
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
xlorp: (Default)
[Error: unknown template qotd]Led Zeppelin
xlorp: (Wacky Joker)
[Error: unknown template qotd] I had been given an assignment in an introduction linguistics class to invent a word.  So I picked the sound of a can of stewed tomatoes (or pet food) slowly plopping out of a can into a bowl.  Kind of a Shhhhhhhhh-lorp!  I thought that X would look niftier than an SH, so there was the word - xlorp.

Then I mentally paired it with a cartoon character I developed in college, kind of a one-eyed Easter Bunny with an elephant trunk, wearing a loincloth and carrying a tremendous axe.  I then gave him a job as a lasagna-boy (along the lines of cowboy) who cared for herds of lasagna-beasts and branding them with red-hot spatulas.

Then I pragmatically realized that it could be a user id name that would never be reserved on any server.  Et voila!

Much later I found a new meaning during an on-line game of Werewolf / Mafia.  My username tended to get me lynched a lot as many folks agreed it sounded like the sound made by a werewolf scooping out and eating a poor villager's brains.  Slurp, xlorp!
xlorp: (Wacky Joker)
Heisenberg gets pulled over by a traffic cop.

The cop asked, "Do you realize how fast you were going?"

Heisenberg replies, "No. But, I know *exactly* where I am."
xlorp: (Default)
The entire text portion of a workplace meeting invitation I recieved 10 minutes ago:

Managers are again optional……..

Well, duh!
xlorp: (Default)
Why do mathematicians confuse Christmas with Halloween?

Because oct 31 = dec 25
xlorp: (Wacky Joker)
The metaphor currently in vogue with my employer is to say that we are attempting to change a tire on a car while speeding down the road at 60mph.

This is strangely apt, considering no one in their right mind would ever attempt such idiocy. Not only that, we're going to actually try to replace all four, one after the other. And for an encore, as a reward for such ingenuity, we'll be tasked with replacing the engine in the same way.

The script calls for us to shout; "Ta-DAAAAAAA!!!!" I call it The Aristocrats.
xlorp: (Wacky Joker)
To All and Sundry. I was kidnapped 6 months ago by Evil Project People at work and set to helping reinvent an entire supply chain replenishment planning process within the confines of a single software giant's product offerings. The only clue to the company name is that they can not deliver anything ASAP. This mission was so super secret I couldn't tip anyone off by neglecting my normal job during the day, and even had to clone myself and appear in parallel meetings simultaneously. To top off my Nobel prize quality work I then smashed the time-space continuum in order to deliver project milestones yesterday, every day. This is only possible in California, where today is always yesterday's tomorrow.

Today, I have halved my meeting face-time requirements, but still have deliverables. At least sometimes now I see the light of day and contemplate shedding the Morlock lifestyle.
xlorp: (Default)

This story plays wrong on so many subtextual levels, despite the gift-wrapping.
1) alternative energy autos are inherently dangerous
2) hydrogen-fueled explosive devices rountinely occupy the White House lawn
3) The safest place for POTUS and his evil twin is right next to said vehicle
4) Millionaire playboy Bruce Wayne, erm, Ford CEO Alan Mulally saves the day
5) After hearty guffaws all around, the alternative energy monster is banished until peak oil is a distant memory
xlorp: (Wacky Joker)
The name xlorp is as far as I know utterly unique.  It's an onomatopeiaic word I made up for a beginning linguistics class in college.  All it meant at the time was the sound made by pouring a can full of stewed tomotoes into a bowl.

I liked the word, and took it as my email handle everywhere later.  This caused no end of confusion when my sneaky personal account on apple.com became my formal business account when they took away applelink as our official in-house communication system.  (For the curious I left Apple about 10 years ago for a much larger tech company that also started here in the bay area, and I have done well there.)

Last year I took part in many on-line sessions of a group dynamic game known as Werewolf (originally mafia I think).  The word's meaning became known as the sound when a werewolf scoops the brains out of a villager's skull.  Still, it's quite short and unique and no one has already taken it on any system or login I need.

Fast forward to the present day.  I hang out on an MMORPG called Runescape.  I run into another person whose handle ended in the string 'xlorp'.  Needless to say he was totally freaked out because his real name was Xavier Lorp.  We chatted a bit and I added him to my flist and such.

Xlorp is offically no longer unique.  But I was there first!
xlorp: (PDB Supper)
How one spends ones waking hours is a series of trade-offs.  If economic and household needs are stable, then the give and take can be orderly and even satisfactory.  So what if some of the needs don't play fair?  Imagine a Darth Vader voice "I am altering the terms of our agreement.  Pray I don't alter it further."  Outlandish?  Not at all; life is full of unscheduled stuff.  I use a more pungent and scatalogical term, but stuff gets the meaning across anyway.

I deliberately avoid management promotions at work.  Why?  I've never seen a manager who was happy and working fewer or even the same number of hours as me.  As of today, I don't NEED the marginal pay increase in exchange for the greater stress, hours and further erosion of the work/life barrier.

My health doesn't play fair.  I broke my foot two weeks ago and became very dependent on assistance until I could walk without the crutches.  If I catch a Martian Death Flu such that I can't go in to work, I am just as unable to accomplish anything around the house.  Tasks pile up; few become safely irrelevant while I convalesce.

Work doesn't play fair.  I stacked the deck in my favor as much as possible.  Individual Contributor with unerring eye for details, deep systems understanding, very happy internal customers and total autonomy in deciding the fate of about $100 million worth of product every week.  I can work from home if I want, keep my home and cell #s private and wear nothing dressier than jeans and polo shirt.  And stuff happens.

I work as many as 20 hours a day, I'm a necessary safety net to dozens of other people who are overworked themselves and send me bollixed data, I know how to tweak my own systems to compensate for other systems' lack of functionality and I provide data analyses up to the VP level.

I don't read anymore.  Even if I could muster enthusiasm, my brain can't absorb the words.  I don't participate in any of my on-line forums anymore.  Open ended time commitments with daily 'high-touch' and mental creativity can't fit.

Outside of sleep, I work and care for my SO and my cats.  If you haven't heard from me or were expecting to see me, I'm not avoiding you.  I'm just taken aback by unscheduled stuff.


Oct. 28th, 2006 12:13 pm
xlorp: (Default)
Never had a sprain in my life, much less a broken bone.  I've come out of over a dozen car accidents as a passenger (6 of them total write-offs) literally without a scratch.  Do I feel invincible, you bet!

So I tripped in the parking lot after work on Monday and broke my foot (avulsion fracture of the styloid process of the fifth metatarsal, left side).  We found out yesterday after finally visiting a doc because the "sprain pain" wasn't going away after three days.  The foot specialist got all high and mighty about why didn't I come in immediately.  I dunno, doc, maybe because the pain was so minor compared to a compressed sciatic nerve for example.  Pain is the body's own Western Union telegram service and all I got was "Wish you were here; send money.PS avoid running for a few days."

I really miss walking.  When the swelling goes down and I get my hard cast I should be able to do stuff again.  On the other hand my coworkers and upper management are so much more bearable when I don't have to see them every day.  And I get to continue indoctrinating my three furry little henchmen (henchcats? mini-meows?) in proper lapcat behavior full time.
xlorp: (Cthulhu Uncle Sam)
AKA "We don't need no steenkin' body!" as declared by our War Criminal in Chief.  He did however leave us with a corpus delicti, our Constitution, and if pressed further, could now very well throw you or me on the pile.  There's even a clause buried in that paper pile making all pre-signature detentions retroactively legal if judged so by an authorized entity

R.I.P. Habeus Corpus

If you aren't pissed beyond description, take another look around, and be damned sure you vote!
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